he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
