Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
