Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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