So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
