the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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