I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
