I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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