The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
