Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
