why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
