how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
