2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
