My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize