Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
