I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we're making bets on your personal life
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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