The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
