Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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