Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
