so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
