Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sorry my hands just texted you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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