Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
