I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
