Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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