well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
