tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
