so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
