I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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