Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
