My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
