hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
