During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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