he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
