So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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