Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize