come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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