Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
