Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
