Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize