my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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