My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
