Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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