pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
