I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize