i don't like sucking hair
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize