grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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