so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
