I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
