i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize