watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
