check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
