So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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