I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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