Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
