i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize