Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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