Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
