Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you didnt know i had herpes?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
