Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
