What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
