He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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