is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Randomize
