since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
