Where is the hickey?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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