good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize