Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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