ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize