Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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