My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
