We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
